This section of my life begins 4 games into the football season of my junior year, which was late September of 1999, and ends on the day I left home for college, in August of 2001.
This was the most volatile, stupid, immature, irresponsible, and dangerous time in my life. My hormones and emotions were out of control, and the only things i enjoyed involved breaking the rules, illegal activity, adrenaline, and orgasms.
Fortunately, underneath my psychotic exterior, was a very kind and loving person, who was desperate to prevent anyone from feeling the loneliness and bullying that I felt several years prior. As a result, the greatest growth from this period came in the form of friendship and leadership. I learned how to develop and strengthen relationships, and how to get other men to follow me, wherever I went.
My stories from this period will likely involve:
Sex, blow jobs, and lots of furious, untalented, hand-cramping- finger banging of high school girls in; parks, cars, parked cars, my parents minivan, bathrooms, tents, abandoned houses, jacuzzis, floors, mobile park home floors, counters, and occasionally,(but rarely) in a nice bed.
Some of them were beautiful, most were not. It never mattered, I was just happy to have a living, breathing, conscious, and willing woman to get my nut off using her hole or her hand.
The best stories are usually when they were not hot, at all. As a matter of fact, I'm fairly certain that I have slept with some of the most unattractive women in the United States; and it was always worth it, because my friends were always entertained by my stories of plowing the likes of Jabba-the-hut, Gollum, and other hideous creatures from the depths of Mordor.
The beginning of my internet dating experiences- Facethejury.com, AOL Instant Messenger, and random chat rooms- Obviously leading me to all the stories above. I learned early in life that the internet is a gold mine for women who were just as horny and willing to fuck as I was. Internet dating/hunting was cheap, convenient, and efficient. I could talk to 5 girls at once and get at least 2 dates a week, one of which would lead to a nut being busted. That's winning!
Lots of fighting- All to defend myself, or defend someone else. Well, sometimes just because the guy was an asshole and needed a beating….The bottom line was, I never fought anyone who didn't deserve it. (But a lot of guys deserved it)
Disclaimer: I wanted to punish all assholes, mean people, and bullies, as a form of retribution for the way they made me feel when I was insecure and timid. It was a truly glorious time and I highly recommend that everyone get to experience the euphoria associated with crushing an assholes face. It's kind of romantic.
Lots of theft from grocery stores, where I would steal food and booze and throw parties with the loot. I was truly, unequivocally, a white trash loser. My parents could not have been more disappointed in their son.
Breaking into houses and throwing parties in them. Yes, I was a piece of trash. I know, I'm sorry. God will forgive me.
Stealing a car and crashing it into Denny's, then driving it back to its parking spot. Great story
Arguments with mom and dad, sneaking out of the house, and being thrown out of the house. The typical shit that makes parents wish they could send their kids to boarding school for a few years, or just beat the shit out of them. We couldn't afford boarding school, so my dad just beat the shit out of me. I'm really glad he did. (I'm not kidding)
Buying a car without my parents knowing, insuring and registering it by pretending to be my dad, and parking it in front of my parents house for months before finally telling them.
Camping trips with a wonderful youth group called Poway Backpackers, where I met two fantastic role models, and fell in love with backpacking, and the Yosemite Wilderness.
That one time, at band camp, when I secretly filmed sex with a really trashy girl (that I knew had cheated on me and then bragged about it to her friends), and then showed the video to dozens of kids at school in small 5 person "viewing parties" in my Cadillac, and planned to send the video to her parents on Christmas. Then that one time, after band camp, when a bunch of her gang banger buddies from the hood came to my school and to parties in my town threatening to kill me.
The way I responded to that was, for lack of a better phrase, a little nutty…..
Losing my virginity to a beautiful, smart, talented, dark black girl, and the trip to Planned Parenthood in the ghetto the next morning; when gunshots rang out down the street as we waited to be seen.
Anything a stupid teen could do, I did; and I always got away with it….
This was the most volatile, stupid, immature, irresponsible, and dangerous time in my life. My hormones and emotions were out of control, and the only things i enjoyed involved breaking the rules, illegal activity, adrenaline, and orgasms.
Fortunately, underneath my psychotic exterior, was a very kind and loving person, who was desperate to prevent anyone from feeling the loneliness and bullying that I felt several years prior. As a result, the greatest growth from this period came in the form of friendship and leadership. I learned how to develop and strengthen relationships, and how to get other men to follow me, wherever I went.
My stories from this period will likely involve:
Sex, blow jobs, and lots of furious, untalented, hand-cramping- finger banging of high school girls in; parks, cars, parked cars, my parents minivan, bathrooms, tents, abandoned houses, jacuzzis, floors, mobile park home floors, counters, and occasionally,(but rarely) in a nice bed.
Some of them were beautiful, most were not. It never mattered, I was just happy to have a living, breathing, conscious, and willing woman to get my nut off using her hole or her hand.
The best stories are usually when they were not hot, at all. As a matter of fact, I'm fairly certain that I have slept with some of the most unattractive women in the United States; and it was always worth it, because my friends were always entertained by my stories of plowing the likes of Jabba-the-hut, Gollum, and other hideous creatures from the depths of Mordor.
The beginning of my internet dating experiences- Facethejury.com, AOL Instant Messenger, and random chat rooms- Obviously leading me to all the stories above. I learned early in life that the internet is a gold mine for women who were just as horny and willing to fuck as I was. Internet dating/hunting was cheap, convenient, and efficient. I could talk to 5 girls at once and get at least 2 dates a week, one of which would lead to a nut being busted. That's winning!
Lots of fighting- All to defend myself, or defend someone else. Well, sometimes just because the guy was an asshole and needed a beating….The bottom line was, I never fought anyone who didn't deserve it. (But a lot of guys deserved it)
Disclaimer: I wanted to punish all assholes, mean people, and bullies, as a form of retribution for the way they made me feel when I was insecure and timid. It was a truly glorious time and I highly recommend that everyone get to experience the euphoria associated with crushing an assholes face. It's kind of romantic.
Lots of theft from grocery stores, where I would steal food and booze and throw parties with the loot. I was truly, unequivocally, a white trash loser. My parents could not have been more disappointed in their son.
Breaking into houses and throwing parties in them. Yes, I was a piece of trash. I know, I'm sorry. God will forgive me.
Stealing a car and crashing it into Denny's, then driving it back to its parking spot. Great story
Arguments with mom and dad, sneaking out of the house, and being thrown out of the house. The typical shit that makes parents wish they could send their kids to boarding school for a few years, or just beat the shit out of them. We couldn't afford boarding school, so my dad just beat the shit out of me. I'm really glad he did. (I'm not kidding)
Buying a car without my parents knowing, insuring and registering it by pretending to be my dad, and parking it in front of my parents house for months before finally telling them.
Camping trips with a wonderful youth group called Poway Backpackers, where I met two fantastic role models, and fell in love with backpacking, and the Yosemite Wilderness.
That one time, at band camp, when I secretly filmed sex with a really trashy girl (that I knew had cheated on me and then bragged about it to her friends), and then showed the video to dozens of kids at school in small 5 person "viewing parties" in my Cadillac, and planned to send the video to her parents on Christmas. Then that one time, after band camp, when a bunch of her gang banger buddies from the hood came to my school and to parties in my town threatening to kill me.
The way I responded to that was, for lack of a better phrase, a little nutty…..
Losing my virginity to a beautiful, smart, talented, dark black girl, and the trip to Planned Parenthood in the ghetto the next morning; when gunshots rang out down the street as we waited to be seen.
Anything a stupid teen could do, I did; and I always got away with it….