that provided an excellent education.
No it didn't. It provided me a place to throw more raging Wednesday night parties and finger bang more girls on the dance floor than at any other time in my life.
It was amazing.
This section begins with the day I moved into the dorms at San Diego State, in August of 2001, and ends the day I moved out of the frat house, July of 2006. And just to clear up any confusion, the day I moved out of the frat house was not the day I graduated college.
My experience in the dorms and in my fraternity was nothing short of a dream college experience.
I became president of my fraternity very quickly, and got a boner every single time a girl said "Ohhhhh, you're the president?" I still dream about those days…..
I got 5 of my best friends from high school to join my fraternity.
I got my blood brother (my best friend) to join my fraternity, so we could continue playing sports together, partying together, and living together.
My mom became the house mom, and my parents came to our fraternity football and basketball games, in addition to cooking us dinner on occasion.
I raised a lot of money for good causes and did over 400 hours of community service at local schools and charities.
I changed my major about 16 times, before finally settling on Kinesiology with an emphasis in P.E. (Don't judge me, it was harder than it sounds)
I changed my body type from a skinny guy to a kind-of big guy.
I changed my athletic performance from being really average to being really above average. (strength, power, speed, agility, etc)
I became the fraternity bouncer and bounced lots of disrespectful bullies out of my frat house. These stories involve lots of broken noses, skulls, and hands.
I slept with more women than is "healthy" according to the Centers for Disease Control.
Most of the stories during this time involve:
Sex, blowjobs, and slightly-more-talented finger banging of college girls and internet girls, in: Party buses, hotel ballrooms, hotel closets, sorority houses, frat house-common rooms, bedrooms, and couches-golf carts, kitchens, cars, parks, parked cars, floors, next to friends who were passed out, next to friends who were awake, together with other friends, (I gotta stop that…) with other friends watching, and pretty much any other college-girl fantasies that come to mind; except a threesome with two women, still haven't done that and I can't figure out why….
Many of them were hot, many were not. The best stories are usually when they were not.
How I had to fight my way to becoming the Alpha Male of my fraternity. (The frat was kind of a gang when I joined..)
Big brawls and one-on-one fights with pricks who disrespected my fraternity or my brothers. Lots of fights with "wanna-be-thugs" from the ghetto surrounding SDSU. I made it a point to ensure they were afraid to come into my frat house.
Themed and formal dances with sororities, party buses, and hotel ballrooms that we rented out. They only occurred several times a semester, but they were the best nights of college. Sex, drugs, vomiting, dancing, and laughter were commonplace.
Themed parties at the frat house with 400 people, thousands of dollars of cheap vodka that my brother made into jungle juice, thousands of dollars in decorations and outfits, and pure madness. It was very challenging NOT to get laid at one of those parties.
I spent a good deal of time trying to throw girls at my friends who were too shy to talk to girls. I even went so far as to say "If you hook up with my friends I'll hook with you later." When you can say that, you know you've peaked. Life has only gone downhill from there…..
Rush events with KY Jelly wrestling, shaving cream wrestling, strippers doing double anal dildo shows, frat guys getting their pants ripped off and their asses whipped by strippers, guys and girls taking shots out of vaginas, and even a few filthy mutherfuckers who ate chocolate out of dirty, sweaty, diseased stripper assholes. Those guys were heroic.
Fraternity pledges retreats where we took 50 guys, 6 kegs, and 20 trucks out to the desert and almost ran someone over and burnt the desert down, every time. Here we played drinking games all night, got high under the stars, made the pledges do stupid shit, and laughed until our faces hurt and we had to vomit. I hung on to the roof of my SUV and tried to get my brother to buck me off, I chased pledges with paintball guns, I joined the pledges team in drinking games, I shot fireworks out of my ass and out of my mangina, and wrestled with my buddies until we puked.
Big Sis revealings, with guys becoming slaves for sorority girls. Getting dressed up in women's clothes, and being made to do hilarious things, including but not limited to:
Walk on hands and knees and act like a dog, all night
Sing teen pop songs while wearing a thong
Drink liquor and not be allowed to stop until puking
Strip down to underwear and get "sex art" drawn all over body.
More hilarious things that make Bis Sis revealing one of the funniest nights of your life.
My college experience included everything you have ever seen in "Animal House," "Old School," "Pornhub.com", and Tucker Maxx stories. From buying a goat on craigslist for a country party, to anal beads with shit everywhere, to wild rats that became pets, to finger banging with Tobasco by mistake, (thus setting a pussy on fire) to violent brawls with thugs, to bench clearing brawls during basketball games, to snorting drugs off of asses and cocks, and finally, an entire litter of kittens that all died of feline AIDS under the care of one filthy fraternity brother. It all happened to my friends and I while I was in college, and God has asked me to write about it.
"College is that place you go to to experience the life that you'll always want, but never have again"
-Donny O'Malley
It was amazing.
This section begins with the day I moved into the dorms at San Diego State, in August of 2001, and ends the day I moved out of the frat house, July of 2006. And just to clear up any confusion, the day I moved out of the frat house was not the day I graduated college.
My experience in the dorms and in my fraternity was nothing short of a dream college experience.
I became president of my fraternity very quickly, and got a boner every single time a girl said "Ohhhhh, you're the president?" I still dream about those days…..
I got 5 of my best friends from high school to join my fraternity.
I got my blood brother (my best friend) to join my fraternity, so we could continue playing sports together, partying together, and living together.
My mom became the house mom, and my parents came to our fraternity football and basketball games, in addition to cooking us dinner on occasion.
I raised a lot of money for good causes and did over 400 hours of community service at local schools and charities.
I changed my major about 16 times, before finally settling on Kinesiology with an emphasis in P.E. (Don't judge me, it was harder than it sounds)
I changed my body type from a skinny guy to a kind-of big guy.
I changed my athletic performance from being really average to being really above average. (strength, power, speed, agility, etc)
I became the fraternity bouncer and bounced lots of disrespectful bullies out of my frat house. These stories involve lots of broken noses, skulls, and hands.
I slept with more women than is "healthy" according to the Centers for Disease Control.
Most of the stories during this time involve:
Sex, blowjobs, and slightly-more-talented finger banging of college girls and internet girls, in: Party buses, hotel ballrooms, hotel closets, sorority houses, frat house-common rooms, bedrooms, and couches-golf carts, kitchens, cars, parks, parked cars, floors, next to friends who were passed out, next to friends who were awake, together with other friends, (I gotta stop that…) with other friends watching, and pretty much any other college-girl fantasies that come to mind; except a threesome with two women, still haven't done that and I can't figure out why….
Many of them were hot, many were not. The best stories are usually when they were not.
How I had to fight my way to becoming the Alpha Male of my fraternity. (The frat was kind of a gang when I joined..)
Big brawls and one-on-one fights with pricks who disrespected my fraternity or my brothers. Lots of fights with "wanna-be-thugs" from the ghetto surrounding SDSU. I made it a point to ensure they were afraid to come into my frat house.
Themed and formal dances with sororities, party buses, and hotel ballrooms that we rented out. They only occurred several times a semester, but they were the best nights of college. Sex, drugs, vomiting, dancing, and laughter were commonplace.
Themed parties at the frat house with 400 people, thousands of dollars of cheap vodka that my brother made into jungle juice, thousands of dollars in decorations and outfits, and pure madness. It was very challenging NOT to get laid at one of those parties.
I spent a good deal of time trying to throw girls at my friends who were too shy to talk to girls. I even went so far as to say "If you hook up with my friends I'll hook with you later." When you can say that, you know you've peaked. Life has only gone downhill from there…..
Rush events with KY Jelly wrestling, shaving cream wrestling, strippers doing double anal dildo shows, frat guys getting their pants ripped off and their asses whipped by strippers, guys and girls taking shots out of vaginas, and even a few filthy mutherfuckers who ate chocolate out of dirty, sweaty, diseased stripper assholes. Those guys were heroic.
Fraternity pledges retreats where we took 50 guys, 6 kegs, and 20 trucks out to the desert and almost ran someone over and burnt the desert down, every time. Here we played drinking games all night, got high under the stars, made the pledges do stupid shit, and laughed until our faces hurt and we had to vomit. I hung on to the roof of my SUV and tried to get my brother to buck me off, I chased pledges with paintball guns, I joined the pledges team in drinking games, I shot fireworks out of my ass and out of my mangina, and wrestled with my buddies until we puked.
Big Sis revealings, with guys becoming slaves for sorority girls. Getting dressed up in women's clothes, and being made to do hilarious things, including but not limited to:
Walk on hands and knees and act like a dog, all night
Sing teen pop songs while wearing a thong
Drink liquor and not be allowed to stop until puking
Strip down to underwear and get "sex art" drawn all over body.
More hilarious things that make Bis Sis revealing one of the funniest nights of your life.
My college experience included everything you have ever seen in "Animal House," "Old School," "Pornhub.com", and Tucker Maxx stories. From buying a goat on craigslist for a country party, to anal beads with shit everywhere, to wild rats that became pets, to finger banging with Tobasco by mistake, (thus setting a pussy on fire) to violent brawls with thugs, to bench clearing brawls during basketball games, to snorting drugs off of asses and cocks, and finally, an entire litter of kittens that all died of feline AIDS under the care of one filthy fraternity brother. It all happened to my friends and I while I was in college, and God has asked me to write about it.
"College is that place you go to to experience the life that you'll always want, but never have again"
-Donny O'Malley